I just found the world's greatest sound effect maker!! SFXR is a program that randomly generates, and allows you to also change many aspects of retro sound effects. The program is 48kb big, ya i know small, but powerfull. Any way it's at least worth a look at, even with a modem it'll be done in a second, with no installation. I will probablly use this for all of my sound effects now, i all ready replaced most of the ones in my game with new ones i've made in like 30seconds.
EDIT: lol forgot the file